“Terrifying.” This is my usual answer when anyone asks me how the writing is going. “It’s terrifying.”
Writing a book is terrifying. Opening your life up to total strangers is one of the most insanely terrifying things I’ve ever done. I can’t even compare it to anything. I’m hardly an adventurer. I have no desire to go skydiving or bungee jumping or get in that fucking thing at the top of the Stratosphere Tower in Vegas. It’s called “Insanity: The Ride.” Couldn’t pay me. Especially not when I read stuff like this about it: Insanity is a high-speed ride experience with high centrifugal force at an elevated height. This ride is not recommended for guests with physical, MENTAL, and/or medical limitations. Clearly this is a warning to fragile-minded people like myself to stay away. #Duh.
Then there’s my best friend Ronna, who actually just booked a trip to Mexico with her boyfriend where they can jump off cliffs and swim with sharks. Good luck!
Write a book. I don’t know what I was thinking.
But you know what? As of right now I’m done with it. Donezo. I’m done being in constant self-doubt and terror. IT’S OVER.
Mauro and I stayed up until 4:30 last night watching the Conor McGregor/Nate Diaz rematch. It was bonkers. It went all five rounds and the Irishman won by decision.
(Mauro worries about my obsession with Conor McGregor. He caught me on line this morning when I was trying to see if we were related. I mean, I am part Irish. I didn’t get very far.)
Conor McGregor, if you’re reading this, first of all, way to go. Second of all, I love a man who wears three piece suits. And third, thank you. Thank you for being such a fierce mother fucker. Thank you for reminding me what it is to be fearless. Thank you for all this:
“There’s only one thing that’s impossible to beat… a man that doesn’t give up.”
“I have never encountered a winner that held hate towards something.”
“I have visualized my imagination so clearly and so consistently that it has manifested itself into my reality.”
“Trash talk? Smack talk? This is an American term that makes me laugh. I simply speak the truth. I’m an Irish man.”
To Jose Aldo: “Look into my eyes. Little Brazilian. Você vai morrer (you are going to die).”
“My knee popped, but fuck it, it is what it is. I just went with what was comfortable, and what was comfortable was get the mother fucker to the ground. Looking back, I should have just pulled my knee from my leg and hit him with it.”
“I am cocky in prediction. I am confident in preparation, but I am always humble in victory or defeat.”
“I take inspiration from everyone and everything. I’m inspired by current champions, former champions, true competitors, people dedicated to their dream, hard workers, dreamers, believers, achievers.”
“I don’t look at a man who’s expert in one area as a specialist. I look at him as a rookie in ten other areas.”
“My success isn’t a result of arrogance—it’s a result of belief.”
“I’m just trying to be myself. I’m not trying to be anyone else.”
“Nothing good ever comes from worrying or sitting there feeling sorry for yourself. Keep positive and keep pushing on and things will turn good.”
“At the end of the day you gotta feel some way. So why not feel unbeatable? Why not feel untouchable?”
“Look out for those who look out for you. Loyalty is everything.”
“I believe in believing. My coach John Kavanagh is a big atheist and he is always trying to persuade people to his way of thinking, and I think what a waste of energy. If people want to believe in this god, or that god, that’s fine by me, believe away. But I think we can be our own gods. I believe in myself.”
“Pressure is an illusion, but I like that illusion of pressure.”
“It’s not really that much of a big deal—you brush it off and you come back. Defeat is the secret ingredient to success.”
“Doubt is only removed by action. If you’re not working then that’s where doubt comes in.
“All that matters is how you see yourself.”
“You need to be able to hit, kick, grapple, wrestle, but for me so much of this is about the mind, about feeling you are in complete control of the space around you, and you know what to do at any moment. That is a wonderful feeling, but it doesn’t just happen, you have to work for it, train for it, think about it all the time.”
And my favorite…