And this is why I love you, Augusten Burroughs.

“As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house? Had a good little girl somewhere in the world not received the doll he’d promised her, making the father angry?”

~Augusten Burroughs, You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas