How to Prove to Yourself You’re Smarter Than Almost Everyone Else

This is what happens when you get up at 5:10 in the morning to teach a 6:00am class. and you come home and it’s freezing outside and even though you have way more important stuff to do you end up doing this because your husband and your dog are asleep and you’ve already gone through Facebook and you’ve read pretty much everything there is to read that’s new on the internet by 9:15. I know who’s on vacation in the snow. I know every cockamamy theory about Star Wars and what Rey might be planning in episodes XIII and IX. I’ve heard what Hilary Clinton has to say today about all the flack regarding her cheating husband. With all this time on my hands, I could’ve figured out where that stupid afluenza kid was hiding if they hadn’t already found him. What a little bitch, by the way. Have fun in prison.

Einstein supposedly wrote this riddle. He said that 98% of the world couldn’t solve it. It took me half an hour. It’s not that hard. (OK, part of it is guessing. I totally admit it.)

From Wikipedia: The zebra puzzle is a well-known logic puzzle. Many versions of the puzzle exist, including a version published in Life International magazine on December 17, 1962. The March 25, 1963, issue of Life contained the solution and the names of several hundred solvers from around the world.

Annnnnd… go.

Five houses painted five different colors stand in a row. One person of a different nationality lives in each house. The five home owners all drink some type of beverage, smoke a certain cigar brand, and have a certain kind of pet. But none of the owners drink the same beverage, smoke the same type of cigar, or have the same pet.

And here are the clues:

1. The Brit lives in the red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The green house is on the immediate left of the white house.
5. The green house’s owner drinks coffee.
6. The owner who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The owner living in the center house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The owner who keeps the horse lives next to the one who smokes Dunhill.
12. The owner who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who drinks water.

The question is: Who owns the fish?

Make a chart. I did. Not that mine will help you… what you see is just a bunch of mad scribblings from a determined person. And it’s only the first of three just like it. Advice: stay organized, be über methodical about it and don’t let your mind drift to my fantastically placed umlaut (a word that I think should have an umlaut) in the word “über.”