KINDLE RULES

I used to make endless fun of my friend Jalee for owning a Kindle. Kindles were for the lazy. Seriously, how hard is it to get up and go to the book store? Or just order what you want on Amazon? They’ll bring it in two hours. To me, Kindles were the equivalent of invisible electric fences—something no one needs, but they just go ahead and invent it anyway. I like the books on my shelves. It makes me happy just looking at them. Jalee and her Kindle. So stupid.

So one day I was on Amazon. (I’m actually always on Amazon. If you type the letter “a” into my search bar, Amazon comes right up.) I don’t remember what book I was looking at, but I had to have it. Right then. Or else. 10 minutes later, once I figured out I could get the Kindle app—which is somehow worse than a Kindle tablet—it was mine. Did you know you can set it so it sounds like your really turning pages? And you can read books on your computer? Annnd if you’re waiting at the car wash you will always have something to read? It’s genius.

Here is a screen shot of some of my Kindle books in alphabetical order.

I do miss the book store. There’s nothing like the smell of new books.  It reminds me of 4th grade. When my book comes out next year, I am totally going to every book store and buying one. Or I’ll just hover in the aisles with it in my hand and say stuff like, Oh my gooood, this book is the best thing ever written. I’m telling you right now, I’ll pay you if you do that for me. I’ll give you a cut of the proceeds. Cash money. #CashForBent2017. No experience required. That’s easy money, baby! Sorry, Jalee, Kindle will not count. Don’t get mad, I don’t make the rules ♥