Not to sound like a snotty bitch, but I turned 49 yesterday and getting older can go fuck itself. It’s stupid. And please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. It’s on my driver’s license, actually, which makes it pretty darn official. And it suuuuucks. But hey, happy birthday to me!

I had a fantastic day, even though my husband ate half of the two birthday cakes and two cupcakes I had. More than half, really. I can always go get more cake, but it tastes way better when someone gives it to you. The chocolate is richer and the embellishments look fancier, like the red sugar flower on one of them, which is unfortunately way too hard to be considered edible. I don’t want to crack a tooth here.