There are only eight good haikus in the world. I looked for like, three hours. I’m sorry, but most of the haikus out there are just really sucky. So I wrote two, and stole the rest.

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator.

I hate you haiku
You are very hard to do
Go back to Japan. 

Punk rock 80’s style
Suicidal Tendencies
Car ate cassette tape.

Footloose is playing
Preacher’s daughter wants the sex
Dancing not allowed.

Creed, you suck so hard
You won’t get into heaven
Poor man’s Pearl Jam.

On “The Man Who Sold the World” (1970) by David Bowie, which Nirvana covered in 1993 :
Nirvana song’s good
Then the rest is prog rock prog
Rock prog MAKE IT STOP.

On Matthew Perry:
Skinny, fat, skinny
Drug and alcohol rehab
Ms. Chanandler Bong

On Clint Eastwood:
Totally badass
Made his living busting face
Now he’s too artsy.

More later, when I feel like completely wasting another few hours ❤