My friend Solana and I watched Pretty in Pink. And we broke it down for ourselves. In pink.

Andie dresses like a Golden Girl and it’s not that pretty in pink.

Duckie is Andie’s cute but clingy bestie in pink.

Steff is an idiot who, for some reason, is allowed to smoke in high school in pink.

Andie’s dad is a deadbeat but we love him in Alien in pink.

Andie hangs out at the club where The Dice works with Dweezil Zappa and her high school friend who looks 30 in pink.

Blane uses a super cool trick of modern computer technology to get Andie’s attention then he goes out to the “bad kid area” and asks out Andie who he has to pick up at the record store on the third street promenade because she’s embarrassed in pink.

Annie Potts who owns the record store rocks the “alternative” look but I keep thinking of her in Ghostbusters in pink.

Duckie sings “Try a Little Tenderness” in the record store and for that reason alone Andie SHOULD have ended up with him in pink.

Things go shitty in Hancock Park where I went to many parties myself in high school in pink.

Andie and Blane go to the club where Duckie acts hurt and we feel incredibly bad for him because he loves her and seriously, she should have picked him in pink.

Blane the “major appliance” kisses Andie after asking her to the prom in pink.

They make no sense as a couple in pink.

Blane ends up being a douchebag in pink.

Andie cuts up two perfectly good dresses to make one very bad one in pink.

Andie goes to the prom alone, sees Duckie and falls for Blane’s lie: “I always believed in you. You just didn’t believe in me.” Bullshit. In pink.

Andie runs after Blane and Duckie goes after the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer in pink.

The end. In pink. The movie.