The Vanity Fair Proust Questionnaire.

Day 5 of 30.

From Vanity Fair Magazine, written five years ago…

All true. If you keep a journal or a blog or whatever, look back at something from five years ago… What a weird feeling. Have you changed? ‘Cuz I really don’t think I have.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Swimming in the ocean, at dusk, in the middle of a hot summer.

2. What is your greatest fear?

Getting old. Flying. Also being trapped, suffocated or drowned.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I don’t take things seriously enough.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?


cougar5. What is your most treasured possession?

A photo of my Dad and me in front of his new ’67 Cougar. He was smoking a pipe, and I was in diapers. I ended up driving that car, and crashing it until it got stolen almost two decades later.

Which living person do you most admire

Mohammed Ali.

6. What is your current state of mind?

Free spirited.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Quitting stuff.

8. On what occasion do you lie?

I actually don’t.

9. What do you dislike most about your appearance?

My short legs.

10. What is the quality you like most in a man?

An open heart. And a dazzling smile.

11. What is the quality you like most in a woman?

The ability of a chick to be a true friend to another chick.

12. What words or phrases do you most overuse?

“Go fuck yourself.”

Which living person do you most admire

Mohammed Ali.

14. What talent would you most like to have?

I would love to be able to play this piano I have here in my house.

15. If you could change one thing about your self what would it be?

I wish I was tougher, like a New Yorker.

16. What would you consider your greatest achievement?

20 years, and not one cocktail.

17. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

“Someone who knows better.” ~Carrie Bradshaw

382522_3699300154046_577918367_n18. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My Beautiful boxer Shamus McDog.

19. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?


20. What is your favorite occupation?

Cake Decorator.

21. What is your most marked characteristic?

My giggle. Someone told me once it sounds like a pebble rattling around in an empty Coke can.

22. Who are your favorite writers?

F Scott Fitzgerald, for The Great Gatsby. And Henry Rollins.

23. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Ellen Ripley.

24. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

A lost little Manson family member. No one in particular, just not a murderer.

25. What is it that you most dislike?


26. What is your greatest regret?

Getting older. (That counts.) See #2.

27. How would you like to die?

In a plane crash, because the irony of my intense fear of flying is just too good to resist. Not that I would like to die in a plane crash… You know what I mean.

28. What is your motto?

“Sometimes you just have to say ‘What the Fuck.'” I might have to change it to “AbFuckinFab,” from my friend Justine.

❤ ❤ ❤