The Vanity Fair Questionnaire

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Swimming in the ocean, at dusk, in the middle of a hot summer.

2. What is your greatest fear?
Flying. In a plane. Also being trapped, suffocated, or drowned, all of which can happen in a plane.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My fear of flying. It’s so stupid.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

5. Which living person do you most admire?
Mohammed Ali.

6. What is your current state of mind?
Free spirited.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Quitting smoking.

8. On what occasion do you lie?
I actually don’t.

9. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
I have short legs, even though I’m 5-8″.

10. What is the quality you like most in a man?
An open heart. And a dazzling smile.

11. What is the quality you like most in a woman?
The ability of one chick to be a true friend to another chick.

12. What words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Whatever”. It sure does seem to say a lot.

13. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My Boxer Shamus McDog.

14. What talent would you most like to have?
I would love to be able to play my guitar. Right now it sounds like a 2 year old is trying to make music.

15. If you could change one thing about your self what would it be?
I wish I was tougher, like a New Yorker.

16. What would you consider your greatest achievement?
(Sigh…) This question is just too hard.

17. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
“Someone who knows better” – Carrie Bradshaw

18. What is your most treasured possession?
A photo of my Dad and me in front of his new ’67 Cougar. He’s smoking a pipe and I’m in diapers.

19. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

20. What is your favorite occupation?
Cake Decorator.

21. What is your most marked characteristic?
My giggle. Someone once told me it sounds like a pebble rattling around in an empty Coke can.

22. Who are your favorite writers?
Henry Rollins. Lama Surya Das.

23. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Ellen Ripley.

24. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
A Manson family member. No one in particular, not a murderer, just one of those long-haired lost little hippie chicks.

25. Who are your heroes in real life?
People who spend their lives helping others, for no pay, credit, or attention.

26. What is it that you most dislike?

27. What is your greatest regret?
Getting older.

28. How would you like to die?
In a plane crash, because the irony of my intense fear of flying is just too good to resist.

29. What is your motto?
Sometimes you just have to say What The Fuck.