Voice Typing is Not For the Lazy

I  couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that Google Docs had voice typing. I’ve always wanted the capability to see words being typed out on a computer screen as I say them, like some kind of “Get Smart” gizmo. So excited. But I’m here to tell you, it’s twice the work, considering almost everything comes out wrong. Example:

It’s tempting to create your own that is easy to create your own the biology take the day that day that one day that in quotes that change your life now that your life is 20-30 years be on that day but you remember you remember what you were wearing you remember what you dream that was a lonely now and you know that it’s the day when it’s happening and you know you can go when where the other New Hope its make the right choice but you never know sometimes you know the choice to make and sometimes you just don’t f****** feel like it because it’s hard and this stupid And it feels like the end of the world is he now at the end of like the End discount disco socks but not knowing who you are socks.

That is definitely not what I said. But I like the idea of “discount disco socks.” I can’t help but notice the “f******” business. What is this thing, my mother? At least it got the number of asterisks right.

Now I have to fuck with it.

Now I have to f*** with it

This app would be the shit if it weren’t so cockamamy.

The South would be the shed if it weren’t so cockamamie

Donald Trump is an angry shithead.

Donald Trump is an angry s*******

Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him… and says, Catch up.

3 tomato the walking down the street of Papa tomato a mama tomato and a little baby tomato baby 2 minute start slacking hun Papa to Marius angry goes over to the baby to me on motion sensors catch up

You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition’s given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? (Note: I used my best Dr. Lecter voice.)

You know what you look like to me with your good bag and it cheap shoes you look like a room I will scrub hustling rooms with a little taste good nutrition is giving me some length of bone but you not more than one generation from poor white trash are you Asian styling

My main goal in life is to become a great Jedi Master.

My main goal in life is to become a great Jedi Master

Wow. It even capitalized the word “Jedi.”

Thanks a lot, you son of a bitch!

Thankful that you son of a b****

I could do this all night, but I can’t, I have a book to write ♥

Written by Anne Clendening
Anne Clendening was born and raised in L.A. She's a yoga teacher, a writer and occasionally slings cocktails in a Hollywood bar. She could eat chocolate cake for every meal of the day. She has a huge fear of heights and flying. And fire. She wishes she could speak French, play her guitar better and make cannoli. She's probably listening to The Dark Side Of The Moon right now, kickin’ it with her boxer dog and her hot Australian husband ★