Apparently I’m a Johnny-come-lately to the cronut thing. And I’m dense. I didn’t even realize at first it meant half croissant, half donut. Cro. Nut.

And I didn’t know they were invented in New York. All I know is there they sat, at the donut store, in four flavors. Cinnamon sugar. Nutella. Raspberry jam. Custard. Oh my god, best god damn invention ever. Rich and light and flakey and completely decadent. They’re like $4.50 each—totally worth it. So I start Googling it just now. I don’t normally eat baby pink food, but again, oh my god. And they have cronut burgers. Cronut burgers. I thought I knew everything there was to know about pastries and hamburgers, my two favorite things, until now. And it’s all about Christmas cronut burgers.